Monday, January 25, 2010

Ok...here it is

I mentioned in my last post....sorry there have been so many, I promise to get back to the occasional post soon....but I want to get down on "paper" what God is showing me and this is the best way to do it.
So if you are up for the journey...join me....and if not that is o.k too..we only have so much time in a day. ;)

I need to step back and fill in some details so this all makes sense...and those details start with my Dad.
My Dad came from a huge dysfunctional mess.
He grew up on a dairy farm in Michigan and then from there they moved to Flordia where my Dad's parents separated and Grandad moved back to Michigan.
My Grandmother ended up marrying 3 times.... with 12 children coming from those marriages. I know she told my Dad at an early age that she expected him to stick around and take care of her in her old age.
Of course that did not settle well with him....and by the time he was 12 he was on the road hitch hiking back and forth from Florida to Michigan. I can not even imagine the turmoil of this kind of life.
My grandmother was a rather large force to be reckoned with. She was an Italian Mama...black hair and you always knew when she was in the room....she was rather loud. She married once before she married my Dads Dad and then again after they divorced. Dad says she was involved in tea leaves and astrology...anything that would bring her hope.
I remember Dad telling us stories about how God looked out for him as a young person....you see he would not become a Christian until he was 25....and God had great plans for my Dad. When Dad was 16 he was out riding the back roads between Florida and Michigan and took a corner too fast and went crashing out into a corn field. He lay there for awhile before he heard a voice calling his name....."Dewey, Dewey is that you?'
Now no one but God knew where my Dad was...so who could possible be out there calling his name?
Come to find out....one of his Aunts had been out on the road...saw the accident and thought that maybe that was him. How sweet our God is to watch out for us even before we bear His name.
Side note.....I will tell you that my Grandmother did take Christ as her savior before her death...what a blessing that was!
And then Dad joined the Air Force at age 18. He had never finished high school so they wanted him to get his GED....but he wanted to go to school and finish that way. So during the day he would go to school and work on Air Force engines at night.
Then about 2 years into his time there he began to attend the church where my Mom's Dad was the pastor.
And although my Mom had been raised in the Baptist church...she had never become a Christian.
Remember that the next time you look around your church and assume that everyone there belongs to God.   
Mom and Dad began their married life.....both young Christians.
Dad had his crazy background....and Mom was raised in a family where she never heard her father raise his voice. Matter of fact...Mom lived such a sheltered life that when they got married she refused to kiss Dad when the ceremony was over. All because she would have had to kiss him in front of her parents! And that was the first fight of their married life. :)
What a combination!
I'll stop there....but I wanted to fill you in on some information so that you could understand my roots.
My parents would later be called to the ministry....and along the way they were given 4 children.
And as you know....one of those children was me!
Before I go into where God has taken me-- I want you to know that I do believe God has healed the wounds in my father's life. I can not even imagine what he went through at such an early age. But I do know that he was left with wounds and that the effects of those wounds were passed to me. But thank God I can say that those wounds have been healed by my Daddy God in Heaven and I know that my earthly Dad loves me dearly and I him. I am the person I am today because God gave me to my parents. And I thank God for them....and I thank God for me.
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From my first memories as a little girl....I remember being fearful.
Fearful of what was coming and fearful of people.
I was shy....and as I grew I did not like who I was. I remember Mom and Dad being very involved in the ministry.....and although we had some great vacations and fun times around the house...I don't remember Dad being really involved in our lives. Now memories can be deceiving....and our enemy loves to fill our minds with lies.....so I am just speaking of what I remember. I don't remember Dad being the one a little girl runs to to crawl up in his lap. But I do remember Dad being the one I ran to in the middle of the night when I had nightmares. I remember him praying for me so that I could go back to sleep.....I had horrible night terrors.
I do believe this was satans first attempt to try and destroy me. It created horrible fear in me....and I still remember some of those dreams vividly to this day.
I knew my Dad was doing great things for God.....and I was proud of him. But I do remember wondering when I was going to be important on his list. Of course as I hit the puberty state....these thoughts were enlarged by crazy hormones. I often wondered if he saw me.....I know he did when I did things wrong.
Did he see that I was a great basketball player......did he see that I was trying to be a spiritual leader?
I even went off to college wanting to become a counselor just like my Dad.
Sounds pretty depressing doesn't it?
But the best is yet to come!
I'll stop here because this is getting long.
But I wanted to write these things down so that I remember the journey......and what a blessing that journey has been. Goodness how I love my Dad and my heavenly Daddy God.
I'll write more of this journey a little later.....time to get up and go run some errands. 
Love ya girl!
He is FAITHFUL!

9 comments:

grey like snuffie said...

Indeed He is faithful...and I say...."whatever it takes for us to know Him...bring it on". Looking forward to more of your testimony of the LOVE of your Father.

Denise said...

I am really loving what you are sharing sis, keep on.

Denise said...

My family growing up was so very disfuntrional.. Not really a father or mother. As my older brother says "we raised ourselves" I did not bond with either mom or dad nor did they bond with any of the other 3 children.. Mercy, I did not know how to raise myself so I ended up a total mess..... but through the years of my mess HE followed me! Now HE walks beside me and is leading me to a "large" place where I can see who I really am!

The journey might be tough at times, but that journey is leading us to HIM...... oh how my spirit man rejoices......

Halfmoon Girl said...

I enjoy finding more my about what shapes those I care about. Will look forward to the next installment.

SunnySusan said...

I can't wait for the next installment. Please keep praying for our finances...this "diet" is costly but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in this, I wouldn't have chosen this way....thanks my special friend....
talk about dysfunctional....eegads..my family life was horrendous....

Oh Sew Good said...

Looking forward to the next entry already.

luvmy4sons said...

Keep writing your thoughts sweet sister...this is walking humbly with your God. So awesome to hear of His faithfulness in someone else's life! I too had some "thing" that happened to me as child with my dad and yet now...I see it so differently and see the fruit of what God allowed in my life1 Love you!

Winging It said...

So appreciating this journey. And "and I thank God for me." I thank Him for you, too! Very much!

Winging It said...

So appreciating this journey. And "and I thank God for me." I thank Him for you, too! Very much!