Read this at your own risk! It is from a devotional that I read almost every morning. A "little" book by Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest. It makes me think about the truth of where Ii am in my walk with the Lord. My comments will be in red so that you can easily pick them out.
Have you ever said to yourself, "I am impressed with the wonderful truths of God’s Word, but He can’t really expect me to live up to that and work all those details into my life!" When it comes to confronting Jesus Christ on the basis of His qualities and abilities, our attitudes reflect religious superiority. We think His ideals are lofty and they impress us, but we believe He is not in touch with reality— that what He says cannot actually be done. (If I didn't think this way I would be doing the things he expects of me.)Each of us thinks this about Jesus in one area of our life or another. These doubts or misgivings about Jesus begin as we consider questions that divert our focus away from God. While we talk of our dealings with Him, others ask us, "Where are you going to get enough money to live?( In my case, how are we going to build a house with what we have?) How will you live and who will take care of you?" Or our misgivings begin within ourselves when we tell Jesus that our circumstances are just a little too difficult for Him. We say, "It’s easy to say, ’Trust in the Lord,’ but a person has to live; and besides, Jesus has nothing with which to draw water— no means to be able to give us these things." ( Yes, I am majorly dealing with this now. But, "Lord, I can't see........".) And beware of exhibiting religious deceit by saying, "Oh, I have no misgivings about Jesus, only misgivings about myself." (And, yes, I have been guilty of this also.)If we are honest, we will admit that we never have misgivings or doubts about ourselves, because we know exactly what we are capable or incapable of doing. (So true i.e. my weight)But we do have misgivings about Jesus. And our pride is hurt even at the thought that He can do what we can’t.
My misgivings arise from the fact that I search within to find how He will do what He says. (YES! I caught myself doing this even this morning!) My doubts spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, I should bring them into the light and confess them openly— "Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it." (How i want to understand the awesomeness of God. The reality of Him. The store houses of heaven. The power within that is the holy spirit of the living God.)
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