Love you girl!

Tonight I started the Beth Moore study.... Esther. Do you know I started blogging because I couldn't comment on her blog without having a blog...or so I thought.
Esther has always been one of my favorite stories in the Bible.....yes, I think it has something to do with the fact that the main character is a female and she saves a nation.
If she was here today
we would give her a high five and say, YOU GO GIRL! :)

It was really so odd walking into that room tonight- a room of women none of which I really knew other than a few by name. It is the first time that I will take a whole study of Beth's without being the facilitator.....which in our old women's group meant that I was the one who did all of the work book and was ready to present it. :)

It was a great evening and I know I am where I am supposed to be. I am so looking forward to opening my book tomorrow morning.
It has been a long time since the days of spending three hours in the word
just because I wanted to.
My cup of coffee, my Bible, my notebook and pen...there was nothing like it.
For years it was really all I did (it was my life)......and then things started happening.
It did not happen over night....but three hours became two and two down to the 45 minutes for my study material and then time for Mr Chambers.
During the really dark months....there was nothing. I felt I was being crushed by life.
Some of you walked with me through those times. Thank you!

Beth talked tonight about the dark night of the soul... and not long after I started blogging I entered the darkest period of my life. That period would last almost two years.
Two years of wondering why my life had been flipped upside down. Wondering what happened to the dreams and visions that God had given me. Times when I wondered what was so horribly wrong with me that people in my life seemed bent on trying to destroy me.
It was and has been a season of....... WHY?

And then God brought us here and things began clearing. I began to understand that God had allowed me to go to a place where experience would make knowledge- truth in my life.
He would show me that there were things ruling my life that needed to be weeded out and burned.
In the last two months I have felt the drawing again. \o/
The raw pain is not screaming in my face everyday.
And I miss Him.
I look toward the heavens and I want to stand in His presence again.
I want to communicate with Him the way I have.

Does this mean that I have not been doing anything? No. But it has been so dry. I want to look at what He has been doing all this time with understanding. I hope He will grant me that.
I know that there is never a point in our life where we are getting slapped around..... without His permission....if we wear His name. And like Job....He never allows it just because.
But if you don't wear His name --you are not under the same type of protection.
But you can remedy that really quick.....I'd be glad to tell you how.


So all the above is to say that I have been feeling for awhile that He has been calling me.
Calling me to sit at His feet again.
I knew what that calling would mean to my time here. And I ran from what He was saying.
I have taken my time here very seriously. I have learned to love some of you deeply.
Really... what an honor to meet you this side of heaven.
I have prayed for you during the dark hours of the night.....and I have cried over the details of your lives and rejoiced when we saw God move and miraculous things happen.
How could God ask me to leave this? Ya'll are my heart.

But for now I must follow what I feel He is saying. And I feel He is saying that for now............while I am doing this study............. I am to be silent here on my blog.
I will be out and about checking on you and I will be praying for you......you really are precious to me. How could I help but love you......you are part of Him. There are some of you that I have been with almost since I started over two years ago......I consider you dear sisters. And there are some of you that I have known only a short amount of time and you have slipped into my heart too. His blood does amazing things.
So know I am here.
If you need me-any of you ........you have my email.

God has a plan......and I am to make sure that I am seeking His face.
He is working and when those plans are made sight I want all of those who have been praying for our future to see what your prayers helped bring to reality.
It is going to happen!

I love you....and you can take that to the bank!

I'll come back some time around or after Easter....that is when our study will be over.
And we will see what God says then about my blog.

Till then....Go With Jesus!