She sat there looking at him like he had lost his mind.
Where had the gentle lover that she had just spent two days with disappeared to?
She found it almost impossible to think that the few words she had spoken
had driven him to this reaction.
From deep inside she felt the pain begin to rise. She wanted to set him straight.
To let him know how wrong he was. Her words had been misconstrued.
How did he even get what he got out of the words she had spoken?
She turned her head and looked out the window......just plain afraid to open her mouth. She knew if she spoke now her words would have the intention to wound.
Dear God, what went wrong here?
How could someone I shared my heart and body with so suddenly turn on me? Help me respond in a way that will not drive a deeper wedge between us. God speak to his heart and let him see what he is doing to our beautiful relationship. Dear God I am SO angry! Help me not sin in the middle of my anger.
At one point during their ride he reached over to touch her arm while making a comment about something going by. And as if it had a mind of its own- her arm withdrew itself from his hand. Her mind recoiled from the intimacy that he was assuming was still there.
Deep in her heart something had been broken. She still loved him and even immediately missed and long for the closeness of "them"......but the words spoken needed to be addressed and dealt with before the sweetness could resume.
While sitting, staring blindly out of the window, the Holy Spirit began ever so gently to speak truths into her heart.
He would begin to transform Knowledge into Wisdom. He would teach her things that she had not understood or acknowledged. He was using life circumstances to teach her
heavenly lessons.
~~~~~~~
...............it hurts doesn't it He said? Many times in the past you and I have shared such sweet intimacy. Times when you sat at My feet and listened to My every word. Looking into your eyes I could see that you were taken by My beauty and My love for you. We had times of conversation that blessed My heart. Times when you lifted your heart to Me in song and I longed to step down out of the heavens to let you see My face so that you would know how deeply your words moved Me.
And then, although I knew the times were coming, I would look down at my feet and you would be gone again. How you could leave after such sweet closeness- hurt My heart beyond words. You would go on about your business and do and say things that were like a slap to my face...and yet, I loved you still so deeply.
Then there would be those times in church on Sunday or the times when you were riding in your car listening to Christian music- when you would begin to sing the same words to me.
They were really great words....but the intimacy between you and I had been broken. You would often wonder why it felt as though your words were hitting the ceiling.
Why you did not feel My Spirit warming yours.
Then remember the words of conviction I would send? And then your heart knew why.
You had a choice-- to renew intimacy by repentance
or you could continue to let the relationship grow cold.
That you are hearing me now shows that you are sitting at my feet listening.
Your husband/brother in Christ has offended you---I know. But, you must forgive. Just like I open myself to you for your return....you must keep yourself open to him for his return.
Can you trust that I am able to make contact with his heart just like I made contact with yours?
Then......trust and obey.
Do you understand the lesson I orchestrated?
Good.......now go and take this truth and do like I do.
She leaned her head against His knee and whispered......
Thank you for loving me.
Where had the gentle lover that she had just spent two days with disappeared to?
She found it almost impossible to think that the few words she had spoken
had driven him to this reaction.
From deep inside she felt the pain begin to rise. She wanted to set him straight.
To let him know how wrong he was. Her words had been misconstrued.
How did he even get what he got out of the words she had spoken?
She turned her head and looked out the window......just plain afraid to open her mouth. She knew if she spoke now her words would have the intention to wound.
Dear God, what went wrong here?
How could someone I shared my heart and body with so suddenly turn on me? Help me respond in a way that will not drive a deeper wedge between us. God speak to his heart and let him see what he is doing to our beautiful relationship. Dear God I am SO angry! Help me not sin in the middle of my anger.
At one point during their ride he reached over to touch her arm while making a comment about something going by. And as if it had a mind of its own- her arm withdrew itself from his hand. Her mind recoiled from the intimacy that he was assuming was still there.
Deep in her heart something had been broken. She still loved him and even immediately missed and long for the closeness of "them"......but the words spoken needed to be addressed and dealt with before the sweetness could resume.
While sitting, staring blindly out of the window, the Holy Spirit began ever so gently to speak truths into her heart.
He would begin to transform Knowledge into Wisdom. He would teach her things that she had not understood or acknowledged. He was using life circumstances to teach her
heavenly lessons.
~~~~~~~
...............it hurts doesn't it He said? Many times in the past you and I have shared such sweet intimacy. Times when you sat at My feet and listened to My every word. Looking into your eyes I could see that you were taken by My beauty and My love for you. We had times of conversation that blessed My heart. Times when you lifted your heart to Me in song and I longed to step down out of the heavens to let you see My face so that you would know how deeply your words moved Me.
And then, although I knew the times were coming, I would look down at my feet and you would be gone again. How you could leave after such sweet closeness- hurt My heart beyond words. You would go on about your business and do and say things that were like a slap to my face...and yet, I loved you still so deeply.
Then there would be those times in church on Sunday or the times when you were riding in your car listening to Christian music- when you would begin to sing the same words to me.
They were really great words....but the intimacy between you and I had been broken. You would often wonder why it felt as though your words were hitting the ceiling.
Why you did not feel My Spirit warming yours.
Then remember the words of conviction I would send? And then your heart knew why.
You had a choice-- to renew intimacy by repentance
or you could continue to let the relationship grow cold.
That you are hearing me now shows that you are sitting at my feet listening.
Your husband/brother in Christ has offended you---I know. But, you must forgive. Just like I open myself to you for your return....you must keep yourself open to him for his return.
Can you trust that I am able to make contact with his heart just like I made contact with yours?
Then......trust and obey.
Do you understand the lesson I orchestrated?
Good.......now go and take this truth and do like I do.
She leaned her head against His knee and whispered......
Thank you for loving me.
9 comments:
Beautifully said, Sharon. I am sure though most won't say so, that we have all had moments similar, maybe not with the same insight you gave...but similar!
Love Never Fails!
xoxo,
maria
Sharon,
This is awesome and most of us have experienced such moments in our life. There are times when we withdraw from God and it most definitely hurts Him, but He is a patient and loving father and forgives easily and waits for us to return.
Now I'm off to see what I've missed below. I'm glad all is well with you. I certainly miss your presence here but am glad you are enjoying this time of solitude while waiting on our Lord.
Blessings,
Mary
That was beautiful sharon! have a great weekend!!
A teachable spirit amidst the madness! That's a place of yielding I need. We had a moment like this today while heading back from our week-long vacation. Instead of voicing my usual, I paused and kept my quiet. Eventually, the anger subsided and we were back on track. I wonder how many times a situation would have been better served by my quiet, rather than my voice.
Too many to count!
Thanks for sharing your heart.
peace~elaine
So beautiful sweet sis, love you.
Oh sweet sister...I SO love your beautiful heart!
Those lessons live with us forever.. They are not rooted in our minds but in our spirit..... Lessons that come from the midst of our pain are lessons that never depart.....
This a post I will remember. Thank you!
Such a great post to cherish and learn from thanks for opening up your heart to us.
Thank you so very much for your comment on my post, I have had the same exact procedure and will be emailing you with many questions and just needed support. God has blessed me very much with you in so many ways.
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