For your entertainment........um, at my expense. ;)

SOUTHERN WOMEN--Yes, I am a southern woman but I don't know if could "rightly" agree with all of these. :).

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.--with less wrinkles because of all the humidity.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
'Yes, ma'am.'
'Yes, sir.'
'Why, no, Billy!'

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
'Y'all come back!'
'Well, bless your heart.'
'Drop by when you can.'
'How's your Momma?'
I wish you'd hush!--that was spoken often by my Grandma. Of course hush really sounded like huuuush

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
The mountains--says this southern girl. But the gravel pit will do too!

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals-maybe
Strapless sun dresses-no
Iced sweet tea with mint-oh yes if that sweet involves sweet n low!
Straw hats and big sunglasses-uh-No!

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Girl :)

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind--this has been a favorite since I was a little girl. I always thought God messed up when he planted me in the 1900's. But then He knew I would be fond of A.C.
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football--for shame, for shame! Somebodies Ma Ma didn't teach em right! :)

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with homemade jelly-Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, AMEN!
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna--Looks like we need some diction lessons. On my behalf --I always say, New Orleans.
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler--oooo la la!

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club--more like the back row in the Baptist church for me ;) Although I have moved up to the second row and it is no longer a Baptist church!
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: hmmmm
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food


More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.--I think kids all over the world have this one down pat. And that is what "a switchin" is for.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.'
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.' --goodness that makes us sound like a mess of country bumpkins
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, . as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.'
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Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! HA Ha! and if it is real bad..ya better show up with a lemon meringue pie too!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.
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Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po ' white trash. --I don't fall into any of the above categories--but I love a few red necks!
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. Oh so ture!
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A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.-Not according to my Mom!
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're 'in line,' . we talk to everybody!-I'm working on this--seems that got left out of my southern programing.
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. -hmmmmm and that is all I've got to say on that point!
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In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.--with real butter, plenty of salt and some cheese and crumbled bacon!
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea,' 'sweet milk,' and 'light bread'. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it (just ask my man-2 1/2 cups per gallon!)-- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. And 'Light bread' is white bread. We don't use light bread and I prefer the fake sweetener.
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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' ... and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!--Our revival will start next week. But it won't be held in a tent--thank ya Jesus!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads
'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.' --we really do know how to speak proper! My Mom would have a fit if I started talking like that!

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !