Friday, January 18, 2008

The mind and it's tunes

This is the post I removed the other day. I want you to know that God backed up this lesson at least three times during a 24 hour period.
I was in a period of intense testing/preparation time.
It has to do with my purpose in life.
I was reminded the other day of the story of David before he became king. He went through times of intense training and suffering--for seemingly no reason. After all God was the one who had called him out to become the next king. And, he had never done anything wrong to King Saul, yet-- King Saul hated him. The purpose in David-well it just rubbed King Saul raw with anger. And nothing David did made a difference. Remember the times David could have killed Saul and gotten the whole thing over with? But, I believe that besides then having blood on his hands--he would have also forgone the training that God was providing through this time of intense testing and trial.

I do have an issue with people having any type of problem with me.
I would be willing to do almost anything just to make things right. Sometimes with my gifting it is necessary to spur someone on--but hurting someone for meanness sake--THIS IS NEVER ALLOWED. Sometimes nothing you do seem to make things right---in the past that would have led to months of obsessing.
Somethings happened at church--pretty funny, but this has been God's biggest training ground for me--and it just ticked me off. I had one of those "what the heck" moments. It was really ridiculous.
Someone got upset with me because I was going through a hard time late last year and I did not share this with them--thus ,I must not trust them. Sounds really silly doesn't it? But you have to understand that as our women's group leader my goal is to bring a unity among the women. Working on creating a safe place for people to trust each other and for many---a place they can learn to love for the first time. I don't want anyone to feel like they have been pushed to the outside. And I do realize that the above person just has some things they need to work through.
But with my personality--this situation usually flips a switch
and then my thoughts are on the run.
I am pretty sure that David had a very sensitive heart. I am sure he waffled between being hurt by Saul's actions and wanting just to close himself off and harbor his anger and bitterness at life's unfairness.
But he did not.
There were a few more elements and people who were added to this test in my life. Some of it involved blogging. But as you will find out later in this terribly long post (sorry) God revealed to me that I was in a testing period. And my being willing to do the right thing even when I did not feel like it proved that I have been learning.
I have tried to be pretty honest here. I have had problems with situations with people in the past along the same lines as above.
There is a reason for this. Something in my future is going to require that I use the lessons learned in these tests. Maybe instead of thinking "what the heck is wrong with me that I keep having to go through the same things over and over again"--maybe we should ask God why these periods of testing are so important. He may reveal the reason now or we may just have to wait for the future to have one of those ahaaa! moments.
So with out further to do--here is the post.
Ya'll are so patient with me--thank you!


Longing

After the parades passed by
And the dusk of evening draws nigh
All sound of cheering fades
Will I find Your spirits stayed?

Or will it linger most
In the unsuspecting host
Refusing to be found
By those merely snooping round?

On each and every day
My heart goes out to play
Sometimes filled with joy
As a newly discovered toy.

Still other days filled with pain
Touched by memories stain.
Will it ever end?
Will our spirits never blend?

From eternities One
Torn by Adam from the Son
I struggle every day
To repair a bridge broken away.

Can I believe the Word?
When at the cross I heard
The work was forever done
And now the transformation has begun.

I struggle with memories produced at will
Conditions left by sins disease and thrill.
And so I pray along the road someday
I will look to find old memories wiped away. S.B.


Today I realized that in the last week my mind has been under attack. It is an old battle.
Something happens that strikes the first cord to that old familiar tune-and before I know it.... I am singing along.
Today while fixing soup for tonights dinner--singing an old tune in my head--it hit me.
I had no reason to be thinking as I was thinking.
And...thank you Jesus... my mind did not have to stay in this zone.

This little tune in my mind--- in the past, could have played on for weeks. Weeks of remembering --"all the other times". This time it was just a week. :)
Improvement!
No one likes having someone upset with them or mad at them. Or have people in their lives who are more willing to turn their backs rather than working things out--but it happens. Nobody likes it. And if you have my personality type,
you just want to SCREAM--can't we all just get along?????

One day it will happen!

Until then, His Spirit is transforming me.
I am becoming more like His Son- Body, Soul and Spirit.
And I will fight the one who jumps for joy every time unity is crushed.
The parade passed by and....yes, the Spirit stayed!

19 comments:

Mimi's Toes said...

Oh my, I was meant to find this post this morning.....I found you thru Linda's blog. Our personalities sound so much alike. This post was so inspiring to me. Thanks for sharing your heart.
I have a sister who lives in Louisiana...So nice to meet you...come on over and say hi...May God Bless you and give you peace.

Denise said...

Wow sis, I am glad you shared this.

Edge of Design said...

Why we exhaust ourselves to gain approval from others goes beyond my understanding. Yet we do. Go figure! For some, its a relentless pursuit though.

Alisun@ A Brooke In The Forest said...

Ok so when two people I love and share much of my life with got into a fight yeasterday and I feel sick to be in the middle, this is sooo what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing and helping to set me free too.

Regina said...

Wow, thanks for sharing this awesome post. I think it is tranformation season for a lot of God's people.
Blessings!

Nicki said...

Well.....there are two things that stand out to me from this post. One, you totally KNEW you were under attack in your mind..so much of what we face I believe is just from plain ol denial.

Second, you realized that you and I and everyone else, we are never going to make EVERYONE happy. It's a hard place to be, us people pleasers!!

I'm glad you obeyed and posted this, it was very good!! You are a very good writer!

Kellan said...

I think that I often don't care enough what people think of me and therefore carry on that battle with myself all the time. We all have battles that test us daily - I'm glad you have God on your side to help you fight your demons or battles - I'm glad I do too. Take care. Kellan

freetofly said...

I am SOOOO with you! Celebrate the goodness of God's work in you that you have made such progress! Like you said, only a week this time! I, like you, keep going thru some of these things, repeatedly, but at least we catch on quicker now!

Bless you!

Dee said...

All I can say is 'Oh, oh, oh, been there, done that'!! I'm glad that you are able to look at situations as God's teaching ground for future use. That is so true. As long as you are not guilty, you have to go ahead, but it doesn't feel good to have someone upset at you -- I agree. I hate that too. Controversy has never been something that I like, however, the bible talks about us having to stand up for things and to be ridiculed for standing up... ((( hugs ))) D

Andrea said...

Great post.
Thanks for sharing it, my friend.

MelanieJoy said...

If I don't stop my thoughts from running within a hour or two I'm in for a long haul for the next couple of days or weeks. I thinks it's a very positive stride that you are able to recognize this "times" quicker. Thanks for reminding me that the testing times are going to be used in the future.
Love ya, Have a great weekend!

Mary said...

Sharon,

I'm so glad you shared this. I've found that I go through things because I need to learn a lesson that I will use to help someone else in the future. It sounds like that is what is happening in your life right now.

My prayers are with you, dear friend.

Blessings,
Mary

Lisa said...

Realizing that you are under attack is when you begin to win the battle, yes? ;o)

the mother of this lot said...

I read this post yesterday and I knew there was a Bible quote somewhere that would relate to it. I found it in my reading this morning and I have spent two hours going through my 'history' to find you again and let you know what it is!

'...for the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world' (1 John, 4:4)

Hope it helps!

BunnyGirl said...

Wow Sharon, love the poem but thank you for also being so open and ready to share about your own battles and struggles.

Take care of you and may God give you patience and his courage.

SunnySusan said...

Such good stuff my friend...I just can't get here often enough.

I have "erased" lots of my old tapes that are stored in my brain, but I do have lots more to get rid of.

Reminds me of the old Mission Impossible tapes that were destroyed after they played them once.....wouldn't that be nice

I love you Sharon

Denise said...

I have read this post a couple of times now and wanted to wait until I knew what to say..... soooooo I am going to write a post on this latter......... It brought to mind a lesson that the Lord taught me years and years ago...........

Thanks for the wonderful reminder that we are individuals and God is working on each of us at different stages in our lives........ He is the author of our lives and He will challenge us every step of the way ......Preparation for life with God as the teacher is preparation for ministry ........ and in that preparation is the safety of knowing WHO HE IS before we enter the battlefield where there are souls at stake.

CrownLaidDown said...

I just left a long message and it got lost...so I'll make it shorter :)

One, take those thoughts captive and lay them down before the Savior, which you know, but I have been in this arena a LOT lately.

Second, sometimes, I just want to say "That was not a you-ward word." Ya know?

Finally, I'm having another give-away next week. I think I will post it on Monday and give everyone all week to respond. It should be fun!
Love you!!
Holly

Halfmoon Girl said...

How did I miss this post? I am sorry for the struggles you are going through- not fun. I am glad that you know that you do not go through it alone. I have been reading about David and his trials. He went through a lot and messed up a lot, but God still loved him and said David was a man after His own heart. Gives us all hope.