I have not had as much freedom to post lately.
I have found that what has been lingering in my heart is not nice and I don't want to share it. Kind of like when you have the flu and you are nice enough to stay home in bed
so others won't get sick.
That has been me lately feeling a little sick in my soul.
Not wanting to open my mouth because the attitude coming out is not patient and kind.
No way could you consider it tender or loving--so I avoid people so that they are not contaminated with my yuck.
I have been praying about this.
So many things flipping through my thoughts that I have a hard time getting a grip on it.
Part of my problem is my surroundings. I don't want to gossip so I am going to put this as nicely as possible. Some times you are around people who are negative and after awhile it starts to feel like sandpaper on you skin. You begin to think you know what they are thinking and then you get aggravated and they have not even said anything. It is in the air and it stinks.
I have found that what has been lingering in my heart is not nice and I don't want to share it. Kind of like when you have the flu and you are nice enough to stay home in bed
so others won't get sick.
That has been me lately feeling a little sick in my soul.
Not wanting to open my mouth because the attitude coming out is not patient and kind.
No way could you consider it tender or loving--so I avoid people so that they are not contaminated with my yuck.
I have been praying about this.
So many things flipping through my thoughts that I have a hard time getting a grip on it.
Part of my problem is my surroundings. I don't want to gossip so I am going to put this as nicely as possible. Some times you are around people who are negative and after awhile it starts to feel like sandpaper on you skin. You begin to think you know what they are thinking and then you get aggravated and they have not even said anything. It is in the air and it stinks.
So either in my fighting what is in my mind or just plain being aggravated-- I want to pitch a fit and say----LEAVE ME ALONE!
Now this is all right up Satan's alley.
He smirks in glee and one of God's warriors is tormented.
Tormented in my thoughts and not at peace.
I have been scouring the word--look for that special word that will erase these feeling that seem to control my mind. I need some peace. I can not stand feeling so ill at ease.
This morning Mr Chambers, was talking about a pure life that is a sweet sacrifice before the Lord. How He fills us up so that we can be then squeezed out for His purpose.
I'm thinking I'm in the pressing period. :(
There has been nothing sweet about the juice coming out of my grapes these past two weeks.
I think it just keeps getting more sour and more sour.
We are promised is that if we believe in Him out of our hearts will (glow-ops!) flow rivers of living water. (John 7:38)
I'm feeling a little like the dead sea at the moment. :(
But I am not content to stay here.
So pray for me please.
Ask God to do in me what needs to be done so that I can live in the home I live in
and still be at peace with the people I live with.
Thanks sistas.
He smirks in glee and one of God's warriors is tormented.
Tormented in my thoughts and not at peace.
I have been scouring the word--look for that special word that will erase these feeling that seem to control my mind. I need some peace. I can not stand feeling so ill at ease.
This morning Mr Chambers, was talking about a pure life that is a sweet sacrifice before the Lord. How He fills us up so that we can be then squeezed out for His purpose.
I'm thinking I'm in the pressing period. :(
There has been nothing sweet about the juice coming out of my grapes these past two weeks.
I think it just keeps getting more sour and more sour.
We are promised is that if we believe in Him out of our hearts will (glow-ops!) flow rivers of living water. (John 7:38)
I'm feeling a little like the dead sea at the moment. :(
But I am not content to stay here.
So pray for me please.
Ask God to do in me what needs to be done so that I can live in the home I live in
and still be at peace with the people I live with.
Thanks sistas.
11 comments:
I'm praying for you right now. I could echo SO MUCH of what you just wrote for myself; I feel full of ick and surrounded by ick. ICK.
Praying for peace for you and for joy.
Know you are in my prayers- my friend.
I SO know the feeling of irritation, that loss of wellbeing. Remember to ask the Lord to cleanse you of any spiritual pollution and fill you afresh...whatsoever things are lovely, whatsover things are good...of good report..think upon these things. I cannot be around negativity, it is so unconstructive and ugly and it just makes you feel like you're wearing a cloak of grit and yuck and can't get clean again. Put the cross of Jesus between yourself and this Spirit that tries to bring dis-unity and offence. I run from it now as far as I can. Sadly I used to partake and God did a huge number on me last year, it was his grace but I had to face it the hard way to see the truth, repent and be freed. Love you.
Oh do pop by SassieKiwi's blog. Her wee niece Ruby (14months) has just been diagnosed with leukaemia (sp).
I just read the following on my friend Claire's blog. It was timely for me, and I wondered if it fitted in with some of what you have been sharing and feeling.
http://fireball.lifewithchrist.org/permalink/34766.html
"Do not strive but sit at his feet" this is what I hear when I pray for you today Sharon.
I love you my friend, I am lifting you up in my prayers. Climb up in the Fathers lap, and rest awhile. He loves you so very much.
Praying for you Sharon...you know, you have SOOOO ministered to me in the last couple of weeks. I think it's time I return the sweet encouraging! I am praying that the God of hope will will you with all joy and peace to the overflow. You will find that the sweetness will return, just needed a little trial to challenge and make the PRAISE all the sweeter.
Love you much,
holly
I too can relate to this, and will pray for you Sharon!
Oh my friend, praying for you right now!! I pray that you are experiencing peace and holding onto to our Father's hand......letting him guide you down this path.
Sweet sister,
1) I'm so thankful for the authenticity in your post. I commend your honesty in the blogging world. Please don't ever not post just b/c of the 'poohie' emotions :)
2) Don't forget too that Satan is going to be working behind the scenes as you siestas prepare for this weekend of Deeper Still. He knows what's coming and he's scared. I say make him scared right back.
3) Prayers for you to be strengthened in the sufficiency of His grace. We should not be so opposed to weakness (I'm speaking to myself here). B/c we are really that weak all the time, but it is these moments when we're staring at the reality of it, that we are truly embracing the hope of glory in us, Christ Himself. He loves you girlfriend. And I trust Him for you.
I hear ya my sis and I am in prayer for you....pray for me too....I am in somewhat of the same boat....I need to jump out and take Jesus' hand and be done with it.....
My stronghold is at an all time high and I want to shred it to pieces and never let it get to me again....
Maybe we both need to grab each others hand and jump out together....are you game my sis.....I am.....love ya
Oh, Oh, Oh, I know what you mean!!! 30 Days to Taming the Tongue is a great resource! Deborah (the author) talks about taking 'tongue fasts' -- I'm going to post about it on my blog sometime soon hopefully. Not a bad idea eh? D
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