Friday, June 29, 2007

Personal thoughts.....................

A few days ago I went with Paw Paw to get his pace maker checked out. He has had it for several years and the battery life is coming to an end--- so we will go once a month to have it checked out. It will not go out all at one time because it has a battery back up that will take over for one month when the main battery reaches its end. Paw Paw, was understandably concerned by the whole process because of his age- he will be 92 in August.

As I sat there the technician told us how the pace maker worked. It is a small little device almost half the size of a purse compact. Small wires run from it into the heart. After it has been in the heart for awhile it becomes part of the muscles of the heart. It watches the beat of the heart and if the heart is not keeping up it will beat for it. Or if the heart is beating to fast it will slow the beat down.

While we were there they put on a monitor to check the battery life. It was fine and it was actually in the process of pumping blood through Paw Paws heart. It was moving the top chambers of the heart and the bottom of his heart was following through and moving on its own. His heart and the pacemaker were working hand in hand.
The technician said that when it comes time to replace the pacemaker they will only replace the device itself and not the wires. The wires are now considered part of the body.

As I sat there watching the computer monitor---- the pace maker beating and then Paw Paw's own heart beating..........the Spirit began to speak to me. I know without the hand of God, my physcial heart would stop beating---period. He has numbered my days and when He says it is time to come home nothing this world can do will be able to keep me here. Hallelujah!

But-- until that day arrives, I can not help but wondering about the beat of my spiritual heart. Is it beating to slow, too fast, or is it beating just right. Am I running ahead of God trying to be responsible for what he has not asked me to do--thus wearing myself out mentally and emotionally?
Or am I not keeping the pace--- doing what I should be doing---- because there are things I want that God does not? I find that the latter has probably been the case for me lately. Only the individual truly knows what God has been asking and if they have been responding with, "Yes sir".

I am one of those who wants to know where I am going and what time I am supposed to be there and what will be expected of me when I get there. You can count on the fact that unless a real emergency comes up...... I am going to be there on time or early. When I don't know where I am going or what will be happening and expected of me---I tend to drag my feet.

I have been doing that a lot lately. The problem with that is that it does not just affect one area of my life--it hits them all. Which then makes me feel pressured to always be doing something.
Unrest...........a clear sign that I am not doing what I should be doing. A sign that I am not keeping pace with the Spirit. If I keep this up the Spirit will step in and give me a little "jump start". And, you can guarantee, it will be a loving swat on my pa toot. It will give my spiritual heart a jump start and the rest of my heart will follow suit.

So I ask you this morning, "How is your heart beating"?
Is it keeping up?
Are you dragging your spiritual feet?

This is a little tid bit from my morning devotion....................ponder this. James 1:4
Not only must our relationship to God be right, but the outward expression of that relationship must also be right. Ultimately, God will allow nothing to escape; every detail of our lives is under his scrutiny. God will bring us back in countless ways to the same point over and over again. And He never tires of bringing us back to that one point until we learn the lesson, because His purpose is to produce the finished product.


Dee said...

Good pondering! So true. What a neat analogy and 92 years -- wow! D

Shelley said...

Good stuff. And thanks for sharing from James. God knew I needed to see that today.

Nicki said...

Great post husband Kris has a grandfather who is 91, and he also has a pacemaker in. He often fears the same things but, it is all in God's hands the moment our hearts will stop beating......until then we must press on and you are doing that! Find rest today on His shoulders...that is my prayer for you today.

Got a bathing suit.....NOT GOOD. It will be going back to the store in the morning!! =) AHHH. How was your trip to the store?? =)

Karen said...

What a great post, you always get me thinking. I don't know if this is a God thing, but as I read your post I sensed that he wanted you at his feet, worshipping, fellowshipping, the 'be still and know that I am God', but that he wants to really reveal himself to you in a deeper way during these times of 'you and God', oh that he loves you, that he wants to draw closer yet, and from those times you will know the pace, because you will be dwelling in the secret place. Hope that makes sense, just up and not totally compus mentus yet!

SunnySusan said...

Got me thinking Sharon...hmmm

My prayer is you find what He is telling you to

Be Blessed

Deena said...

Pop by and visit me this weekend...I have something for you.

Wholly Devoted

Halfmoon Girl said...

again, another fabulous reminder of where we need to be at... I like that you are not preaching, but relating your own struggles. we can all relate, if we are honest.