Do you want to see?

The following is the devotional that I receive from Elisabeth Elliot. This morning I have been seriously thinking about the fact I have been asking God for a few things and maybe I have gotten some of them.

I told Him that I want to know Him. That I want to serve Him. For Him to do what he must to get me where He needs me to be to use me the way He needs to. That is what I am here for. I gave myself to Him as His blood bought servant. My life is no longer my own. I love Him and I want to serve Him out of that love.

I should be seeing some changes take place in my life, right? In me, right? Lately I have noticed a lot of drama going on around me. Honestly, I have the feeling that maybe I am living in a soap opera. And for you who still enjoy them, sorry. I think the soap opera has always been there. But, I don't think I was fully aware of it or even cared about it. I was content to deal with my own life and let others live the life they got themselves into.

And then things began to change. I would hear about problems people were having and I began to care. Sometimes this was aggravating. I wanted to be able to say a simple prayer and walk on. In the past few years the only time that happened was when I was not where I was supposed to be in my relationship with God. My sister even brought this to my attention a couple of years ago. She said, Sharon I can tell where you are in your relationship with God because when you are not "there", you are not as concerned." Ouch!

Recently though, I almost wish I could turn my spiritual eyes off. I have wondered why I have to see so much. It makes life slightly uncomfortable sometimes. Sunday I was feeling very overwhelmed by all that I saw. My first reaction was to run. Run to the things that could give my mind a break. I got in my truck and briefly thought about going to buy a pack of cigs (old god). Then the plan was to go and see a movie. I knew I could go and sit in a theater an forget for awhile. As I left the neighborhood I checked my cell phone which I leave in the truck. One of my girls had called. I felt that familiar tug in my heart. Maybe she needed to talk. Her husband is in a drug rehab program and Sunday was her one year wedding anniversary. I thought, God I don't have anything. I am so empty and I don't want to give her what I am carrying at this moment. But, the Mom in me stepped up to the plate and I called her back.

Over the next 30 minutes the Lord ministered to me through my mentee. I love her. She spoke back to me my words the words that the Lord had taught me. I know the truth and what the word says. It does not change for our circumstances. That is security. How horrible would it be if God said, "Well last time this happened I felt like saying No, but this time why not... go ahead." We are people of truth--truth that does not change with our times.

I began to realize that God has been sharing more of His heart with me lately. I guess I envision that, from my human perspective to be all about glory and the spectacular. But what about the burdens that God carries? What about the lives God is involved with. If we want to become more like Him wouldn't it make sense that he would need to share with us His heart. Don't we do that with our friends? I don't want to be a fair weather friend to God.

I will gladly walk where He wants me to walk. If that means He has to show me the real picture so that I can carry a burden and pray for what is most important....then I will hold out my hands and my heart because I know He will not give me more to carry than I can carry.

So I closed my day with God. I did not did a movie or cigs---just Him!

Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Source: A Lamp For My Feet
Scripture:

The Desires of My Heart

I had been praying for something I wanted very badly. It seemed a good thing to have, a thing that would make life even more pleasant than it is, and would not in any way hinder my work. God did not give it to me. Why? I do not know all of his reasons, of course. The God who orchestrates the universe has a good many things to consider that have not occurred to me, and it is well that I leave them to Him. But one thing I do understand: He offers me holiness at the price of relinquishing my own will.

"Do you honestly want to know Me?" He asks. I answer yes. "Then do what I say," He replies. "Do it when you understand it; do it when you don't understand it. Take what I give you; be willing not to have what I do not give you. The very relinquishment of this thing that you so urgently desire is a true demonstration of the sincerity of your lifelong prayer: Thy will be done.

So instead of hammering on heaven's door for something which it is now quite clear God does not want me to have, I make my desire an offering. The longed-for thing is material for sacrifice. Here, Lord, it's yours.

He will, I believe, accept the offering. He will transform it into something redemptive. He may perhaps give it back as He did Isaac to Abraham, but He will know that I fully intend to obey Him.