Wednesday, September 2, 2009

So You Wanna Go Back?

I wrote this back in May of '07.
If God had told me I would be where I am now... in '09....I would have been both thrilled and terrified. I have learned much on this journey.....a journey that is not finished yet.
I am posting this again because it was a good reminder for me. A reminder that I DON'T want to go back. A reminder that I have come so far to give up now.
Yesterday was rough. Rough enough to make me look back over my shoulder.
Good thing I was not looking at Sodom and Gomorrah. :)
I know He is faithful to see this journey through to completion. \o/
I am going to leave the comments.....because there are a few of you still walking with me that were here back then. It was kind of like a great big hug when I realized how long ya'll had been around. He has given me some great sisters for this journey.

There is a verse in Hebrews that has stood over me in the last years like a giant wave waiting to crash over my head and send me spinning. I am drawn to this verse almost like a security blanket. Yes. It comforts me and makes me breathe a little deeper. What's that verse?
Hebrews 11: 13-16. O.K, not verse--verses.
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.
People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country---a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
I loved studying the life of Abraham with Beth Moore. I loved the way God called him to leave all that was the life he had known. Sometimes I wish he had been a woman because then we would have gotten a little more of the emotional side of the journey down on paper. But, even though we did not--I know it must have been a little emotionally unsettling. But--he did it. He left what he knew and followed God on a path that he could not see and in human terms did not make sense.
For years I have felt like I have been on this path. Going places in my heart and mind that made people look at me a little funny when I spoke of what God was telling me and showing me. But--that was O.K, because out of every dozen people I got close enough to tell--He would send one who was willing to listen to my hearts thoughts and "Go There" with me.
(Tracy you know you are one)
It has been a great journey moving from glory to glory. I love thinking that as the Lord's eyes swept to and fro across the face of the earth He had to stop on me because He saw a heart that was different. {That and I was waving my hand and screaming , "ooo, 000, pick me!"}
He saw a heart that was yearning for something more----HIM!
So, now we are out in the middle of the dessert and I look around and I say, Where God? Where do you want us to go? You said go, and we did. Now, were is the land you have prepared for those who love you and are walking according to your plan?
Now the true faith walk begins. That walk for me looks a little different than Abraham. He walked--I have been asked to sit and wait. Sounds easy? Try excruciating.
Now I know in Hebrews all of these people who walked the walk of faith--they could have looked back and gone back.
That is the part of the verse I love the most. God would have let them go back. Back to their old homeland and it's captivity. But they choose to move on and look at the reward they are being blessed with.
Have you ever thought that their rewards in heaven have still not stopped piling up because we are still witnessing their lives and gaining strength because of their testimony?
How incredible is that?
So when I remember that my life is no longer my own------I know, I can not turn back.
The picture at the top is of my old house being demolished in December '06.
We thought God was going to have us rebuild on the same site and now God has told us to move on. Where, we don't know. For this problem solver-- the biggest battle has been sitting and waiting.
But I am convinced that I will see the the victory and glory of MY LORD in the land of the living.
Because I will stand in faith, God will NOT be ashamed to be called--- Sharon's God.

(Back to '09 -And not we did not know at the time of this post that we would be selling all to move to North Carolina. Or that we would still not be sure of what or where God is leading us. But I do know this....I am NOT going back. Onward and upward!)


Dee said...

((( hugs ))) It's always difficult when we can't see what's ahead of us (maybe it wouldn't be good to see those things anyway eh?!) but I'm encouraged by your Godly attitude. The Lord has blessed you. Praying for you friend! D

P.S. I love the new look! That purple woman inspired you eh? :) (can you tell I'm Canadian? eh? eh? eh? :) )

Anonymous said...

bursting with faith. i love it. the uncertain path ahead of me is something i've not shared with anyone in "blogland" - but it's SO very sweet to my soul to read these words from YOU and from Holly about walking by faith, each step of the way. even when we don't understand the "why's" and "how's." actually, ESPECIALLY when we don't understand... because that is when his faithfulness shines brightest.

Robin said...

You will look back at this point in your life and see it as an exciting time of spiritual growth - although you may not see it now. I just finished The Patriarch study too and it was awesome. How perfect in God's timing to have you do that study at this time in your life!
God's "waiting room" can be a hard place to be, but I have a feeling that you are going to have some exciting days ahead! Rest up and get ready - the ride is just beginning!

CrownLaidDown said...

Mmmm....I'm praying for the Hand of God to be so very close upon you that you know that you know that ou know He IS NEAR and is leading You to His favorite place for you. Maybe it's here! I would welcome a "check it out" visit anytime (except the first week of July...we'll be at the beach, which of course you know!). I woke up from a 2 1/2 hour nap and am babbling!

The kids have been home today for a teacher thing, so I'm sorry to not have read this earlier! I look forward to reading your Mom's story tonight, Sharon. You have a gift for hospitality...I can tell. How about some cajun food in Colorado?
Love Ya, Girl!

Halfmoon Girl said...

Wow, I love your post about your mom. I have a wonderful, God fearing mother as well. She is very modest too, but I see her as such an incredible anchor and inspiration for me.

I am tired right now so have nothing impressive to say about what you have said here, except to say thank you for being open and willing to share how God is working in your life.

Tracy said...

What is faith? Lets ask the ever elusive writer of Hebrews (probably Paul). 11:1 Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see. I know you know this verse by heart, but have you ever thought about the hope part? Hope is a partner with faith. Without hope there is nothing for faith to give substance to. Just remember, the thing we are "faithing" for is already there, we just can't see it. You are not in the wilderness right now, you are in God's perfect will because you have said yes.....Yes Lord, I will stay still and let you do your will......Yes, I will believe and trust you and am willing to give up anything or go anywhere you say even though my flesh is nervous and screaming for me to take control and fix it. You are overcoming the issue of your "fleshly" control. Oh that we all could learn this important lesson. How can He work through any of us that think we are strong and can handle it and God can just step in when we need a miracle? You have been in the wilderness (as have I) and we both know that we will not go back. You are now in the very place God has always wanted you. Being still, knowing that He is the very God Almighty of the entire universe and that He is at work on your behalf. Just remember, He is not only with, He is also for you!


Amy said...

When we first moved here, I was depressed about it. Why would God ask me to follow my husband to a place where I had no friends, no family, no heat in our home (really, in December!), a little child to care for by myself and one on the way, and my husband couldn't even find work? Now, just less than a year later, you are part of my answer, along with our church family and so many other little things that have helped me be sure that this is where I should be right now. Your faith inspires me!