Monday, May 7, 2007

2nd post------Marriage Monday

Over at Fruit In Season it is time for Marriage Monday.
And honestly, I could not pass this subject up.
I so wish I had had someone come along side me and walk with me through the first years of marriage. I am doing that now through mentoring with other women---but
I learned my lessons the hard way.

So to those who are just starting your journey --here are some good things to remember.

1. Your man can not read your thoughts. Sometimes that can be a good thing. If you learn to run your thoughts by God before you speak them--you'll save yourself a lot of tears.

2. Mark special dates on a calendar--- and be sure and let your honey know where
the calendar is. This will also save you many tears. ;)

3. Never assume.
As women we sometimes have an unrealistic expectation that our husband will just know what we want. It is not going to happen. A man generally runs along the line of facts and not emotions. You think by how you feel-- and he thinks by what he sees.
You just have to learn to tell him what you need and want. Sometimes this can be a little humbling--but you will save yourself some silent tears, after he is already snoring, if you will just open you mouth in a loving way and tell him what is going on.

4. This is an important piece of advice that will help you behind closed doors.
Your love life is all in your head. If during the day you are thinking negative thoughts about your husband--- I can guarantee you that a romantic love life will only be found in your head or in a romance novel. Practice focusing on the things that brought you together. The special things that he did to win your heart. Yes, there are many things to focus on that are negative---but those will only build a wall between you and your knight in shinning armor.
Renew you mind and you will find renewal behind the bedroom doors!

5. And one more important piece of advice. You will reap what you sow.
If you plant love and kindness and patience and tenderness--guess what you will get back?
Now, it may take a little time for those seeds to produce fruit---but God promises that
we reap what we sow.
Is He capable of lying?
And girl, you can take that to the bank.
We are in this for the long haul.
So become a farmer and plant some good seeds in your love's life.
If you have already started planting some bad seeds--ask God to do a little weeding in your marriage. Bending your knee and asking forgiveness is one of the most important tools you will ever discover in you marriage. It will make sure you produce a healthy crop.


Dee said...

AWESOME advice!!! D

Nise' said...

Great minds think alike! I, too, said that neither of you are mind readers, talk to each other, but I like that you included to run thoughts by God before you speak. Great advice.

Christine said...

Great advice!! I love the calendar idea. I just take the blunt approach- "Our anniversary is next week. Why don't you plan something for us and get a sitter." Jason is definitely not a mind reader and I shouldn't punish him for me wishing he was !!

Amy Jane said...

It amazes me how much those poor new husbands are expected to know.

Good for you for offering an alternative view.