Although last night I did not feel like going to church, I went anyway. I thought maybe something would be said that would lighten my heart.
Yesterday was the day we started the paper work for my husbands Dad to enter the Nursing Home. My husbands brother came in to help with the process. It was so hard on all of us--but the boys had an extremely hard time. I have never seen my husband so broken.
And you know--when our husbands hurt-we hurt. How I wanted to fix it all.
So I went to church looking for a little relief. The service was good.
But I left with with a heavy heart.
I tried all the little tricks we try to change our moods. I spent some time thanking God. You know, to get my mind off me. Didn't notice any change.
So then I tried some music. I put in a C.D by Selah.
I tried to sing and worship but the weight in my chest did not leave.
Finally I called out to God.
"God I need you", was my cry.
Still no change.
Finally in my minds eye I took my heart and held it out to Jesus and said--"Help me please!"
At first I noticed no change.
And then it occurred to me-- I could once again breathe.
I also noticed that there were tears streaming down my face.
And, oh the peace.
Sweet peace.
Relief was flooding my heart.
And what love filled my soul!
My precious savior and friend was there.
Casting all your cares on Him for He cares for you!
5 comments:
((( hugs ))) As you know, we're going through similar things (often eh?!) and so I have been praying for you. He loves you & will care for you. D
{{{{Sharon}}}} hugs and prayers....I dont want to go thru this but probably will with my 81 year old mom someday.
I started writing earlier and Sydney pulled a picture down on her head. She's ok --will probably have a goose egg though :(
I just wrote to say that when my husband's brother died, we cried and laughed (at the good times). Chris' family was so healthy that way. It taught me that it's ok to hurt and have pain and not blame others or get angry (that was how I was raised)...such entitlement.
Anyway, I say all that to say, Cry and then cry some more.lean and then lean some more. Pull out "Rudy" and watch it together...sometimes crying about something else brings the cathartic healing your husband needs.
I'm praying for you, Sister and so sorry you're hurting. I know that God is teaching you and loving on you the whole time through it.
Love in Him,
Holly
I appreciate what you said- I can relate to that feeling. Thanks for sharing.
Oh, precious, precious one... (I studied with Kay today), my heart tenders for you and your family. Praying for a smooth transition into the nursing home, for peace for confirmation that you are doing the needed thing. Its hard!
He's there loving on all of you! Praise Him.
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