Saturday, January 24, 2009

What do I see?

I wish I could explain what is going on in me.
But I am not really sure.
There is a stirring that has been taking place.....thoughts and feelings swirling.
Kind of like a painting I am watching evolve.
I am looking at the marks of the artist....wondering how the sometimes angry looking slashes of color will ever come to resemble something I know to be real.And yet with each passing day I know that I am getting one step closer to the point my heart and my brain will be able to understand what is being put there on the canvas.
And the reason why it was put there when it was......that understanding will come too.
Align Center
Each time a new piece of information fills in a part of the whole....I feel my spirit start to breath a little deeper. It is going to be good...this end. It is going to make me look back with such clarity.
Marveling at what He was doing all along.
And like the artist who puts his heart and soul into a work of art.......He is slowly by His Spirit putting His heart and soul into me.
If for a minute I could take a step back and look at my life through His eyes.
If for one brief moment I could look over at His face as He is looking at my life......the masterpiece He is creating. If that could happen.....I believe it would take my breath away.
The pleasure on His face would explode my heart.

Dear God let me see it......just once. Let US see it.

And yet.......I often get lost in the "angry" slashes of color.
And to my shame I look at Him like He doesn't know what He is doing.
Doesn't He see how what He is putting there will never match the vision I have.
And again, sometimes I misunderstand the look of glee on His face.
I see it as Him enjoying teaching me a lesson......
Bam! As He slaps the canvas with a new raw color.

And that about sums up the past few years of my life.

But now an image is starting to form....I think.
My mind struggling to understand what it thinks it is seeing.
Kind of like one of those pictures that asks what we see in them--the young lady or the hag.My mind is trying to catch a glimpse.......and yet the Spirit is saying,
Wait for it-wait for it.
I hear the excitement in His voice. He is enthralled by the beauty of what He knows is coming.
He stands in me and glories at the finishing touches of the Father at this stage.
He is working in what the Father is working out.
And so I wait.
Wait with anticipation as my heart begins to beat a little faster.
To the glory of the Father it will be marvelous!

We will be MARVELOUS! ;)


grey like snuffie said...

AMEN...a wonderful description of how I too feel sometimes.

Mary said...


This is an awesome post. We must learn to have patience and lean on Him.

Right now I'm going through a difficult time because of some bad news I received this week. Please keep us in your prayers.


luvmy4sons said...

Awesome thoughts here! To remember that now we see through a glass darkly...we can't always know the ends of all that He is working in our lives AND that of others through our own lives! I couldn't see the young lady...only the hag...hmmmm going to have to come back and try again later.

MelanieJoy said...

Beautifully spoken...tells how close you are. As I mentioned earlier my photography class is stirring some thoughts with me. I love comparing captured images with His Words and Works. Continue to wait...I can't wait to hear what He connects and speaks when all things come together.

MelanieJoy said...

I've seen the picture many times between pshycology classes...and I've never been able to see the old women.

SunnySusan said...

Aahhh Sharon

What a way with words you heart is feeling like that latly...I just need to wait on Him...but it is so hard

Halfmoon Girl said...

Sometimes I get focused on the angry slashes. This is a good post for me to read today. Been watching someone I love dearly self destruct- painful. She is His masterpiece too, but like I need to remind myself too, we gotta let go of the brush so He can create a good work.

Winging It said...

I am so blessed to be able to come around and read things like your beautiful post.

I LOVE your new blog look! WHO is doing your designs? The color and layout is fabulous!

This reminded me a little of Mirror, Mirror over at my place...I think the Holy Spirit is just leading us all to that place of getting The Bride ready! :) Preparations are in motion!

Hey, I don't mean this in a wrong way, but I was just thinking The Holy Spirit is a wee bit of a Wedding Planner, huh?! :)

So good to hear from you!

Denise said...

Such lovely words, bless you.

Anonymous said...

It's my understanding that where anger is, there was fear, frustration or hurt first.

Sandi said...

awesome post