Subterranean Grief

Subterranean Grief.....this was a phrase I heard today while in Sunday school.
It was spoken by a woman who is the care giver of her husband that has Alzheimers.
She said most days she feels fine.....but she knows that her grief lingers just under the surface.
Thus, subterranean grief.
It is ever flowing, always there........ usually hidden by surface events.

A subterranean river is one that runs below the surface.
Sometimes it is natural...at other times it is made by man.
Unless you are looking for it or know it already exists....you may never notice it's presence.

Now for the grief part.
Many of us only associate grief with the death of a loved one. And yes, this is when most of us acknowledge that this would be the most obvious time to experience this emotion.
But according to the encyclopedia--
--"Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss".
And according to the same source...... "Losses can range from loss of employment, pets, status, a sense of safety, order, or possessions, to the loss of loved ones".
How many of us have been through times of grief and never recognized it for what it was?
How many of us have moved on...neatly placing memories in boxes under the bed?

If you have experienced a time of loss I am sure you have heard that there are certain stages of grief that a person should go through.
Here are some...
1.Shock and Denial
2. Volatile reactions
3. Disorganization and Despair
4. Reorganization

And society would allow you these stages. But, if grief can be a little larger by definition......do we allow others to move through these stages also? I don't think so. Maybe because the person does not know the full extent of what they have experienced.....maybe because as the body of Christ we tend to want to slap a band aid on a situation.
I have been a band aid slapper in the past. :(
And then it happened to me.
I guess that is why this message hit me today. And I guess that is why I could identify so well with number three. My band aid should have been able to be removed long ago.....but it never healed because it was never treated.

When I was listening this morning....I had never thought that maybe I was experiencing grief.
I guess I tend to be a pretty matter of fact person...black and white.
Situations would occur....I would try and put them in proper perspective and then move on.

Since the 9/11 anniversary is coming up, I will use that as an example.
How many of us who did not loose a loved one or friend realize that what we were feeling was grief? The shock.......yes. Volatile reactions......yes. Disorganiazation and despair...yes.
And finally....Reorganization.............have you reached this spot?
Have you allowed God to heal this dagger to your soul?

Maybe you have. But what if situations did not stop here?
What if life seemed to continue to pile situations on after this.
The end of a marriage......might not have been your own......maybe it was a close friend.
Maybe you lost a job or family moved away.
There are so many things that I could fill in here.......I know you could too.

Before you know it you are sitting on your butt.....wondering how in the world you got there.
You feel like life is swirling around you and you don't know how to get back up on your feet.
We can say it is all Spiritual.
Get it right with God and give it to Him......pick up your bed and walk...you are in the way.
And you know what........most of us move on. The walking wounded.

Lately I have looked at myself and wondered what the heck was going on.
Why the slump?
Why can I not get back up and start moving again?
And then lately because of the hurricanes- a few here and there have been posting about these and a few well remember ones from the past.
I finally began to realize that I feel lost. No, not just because of Katrina and what it did to the world I knew. But, add to that the death of a loved one, the death of a pet, the dissolving of a church body...and I could add a few more here. And walaa....my problem.
I think the barrel is full and all the monkeys want out!
We will experience grief in this world.
Joseph's life was filled in the beginning with grief.
Job knew grief deeply.
And the scripture even says that Jesus was crushed by His grief.

Have you been betrayed?
Have you lost family or possessions?
Have you walked alone?

Then you have experienced grief.
Have you let Him walk you through the stages? It is so easy to quote verses to ourselves and just try and forget it all.......at least try to.
I know that God had a purpose in it all. I know He will bring great glory from the path I have walked if I allow Him.
I am still human, and just like Job
allowed God to walk him through his trial.....so must you and I.
Matthew 5:4------Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Dear God...please help us stop stuffing our grief. Instead help us hold it up in weary hands to you so that you may heal our wounded hearts. Thank you for all the women here who have helped this child of yours in the last year.
Thank you for bringing those by who would not run from the trauma in my life.
Thank you for allowing them to be a reminder of the fresh water that is available in You. A water that heals a weary soul.
Thank you for being our healer. And thank you for giving us a love that we can love others in return. We love you.