Thursday, May 1, 2008


I was just watching one of the morning news programs.
One of the women was doing an interview on Marriage, Mommy's and S*x.
Now, this whole thing was about giving a woman ideas that would help her marriage.

They talked about the normal things that can cause problems in marriages and then gave a few things that women could do to spice things up.

First I want to make sure we know that where our minds goes our body follows.
I think you will find that in scripture along the lines of renewing our minds.

So one of the ideas to spice things up was to fantasize--add a little spice to your thoughts.
Fantasize about who and what?
Their suggestion........well, here are some ideas of who others are fantasizing about.

Now I will be honest here. Over 18 years ago when my marriage was horrible and before God was really at work in my life........I might have said......hmmm, good idea.

But then there is this little section in the N.T where Jesus said
something along these lines -------that even if it only takes place in your head....
YOU ARE GUILTY just like you had done it physically.
So according to Jesus ----there is a whole lot of people committing adultery on this earth.
Having a relationship in your head is just as bad in Gods eyes as...... doing it.
God's word........not mine.

Their next advice to help spice things up? Read a smutty romance novel.

Now here is a down fall I had years ago.
God closed this door in my life about 10 or 12 years ago.
There was no way that Keith could ever live up to the men in these novels. And living in a fantasy world does nothing to build a strong connection with my husband. And...stepping on soap box....if we are to not even mention the things that happen in the dark.......I think that would encompass reading about them too. And many of those couples in those books are married? And do we really consider it o.k to look in on another's love life? What about those movies you watch? I think that sometimes we can think because it is in writing or on the T.V--it is not wrong. When did the disconnect take place?
I could go to town on this subject. Because it was an area where satan had me bound for so long. It started out eyes had not been opened.......but once the Spirit convicted became dirty and ugly. God allowed His light to shine on it....and I saw it for what it was. Yuck!

Now these sweet ladies told you that you would need to remind yourself that you really were a good Wife and Mom. I wonder why you would have to remind yourself of this.
Could it be that....... as a man thinks in "His" mind so is "he"?

Garbage in.......Garbage out!

Climbing down off my soap box. ;)


Halfmoon Girl said...

clap, clap,clap- that is me cheering your soap box speech on. It is easy to go down that road with novels and tv- it has become distasteful to me too- I thank the Lord for that. If we have men for husbands and are treating them as men, then our husbands should be enough to fantasize about. George Clooney is nice looking, but he is probably annoying to live with too sometimes, so we need to keep our minds and hearts at home!

mandy said...

when i was in my only semester of seminary, i took "Human Sexuality: issues and ethics" and read up on such problems in christian marriages.
i did learn that, for women, its good to have "fantasy-like" thoughts. just about our husbands. not george clooney! seriously.
we are ovens. and it takes us a while to heat up.
so sometimes its a good idea to set the crockpot "on" earlier in the day, right?
but NOT george clooney!!!
i enjoyed this post. thank you for risking the subject matter for honesty's sake

Anonymous said...

Well, even if I was going to go that route, I wouldn't be thinking George Clooney. hahahaha Seriously though, don't forget soap operas. If anything can stir up discontent and especially in marriage, its those things. You'd be surprised how many Christian women watch them though or would you? Be surprised that is.

luvmy4sons said...

Someone needs to get on that soapbox now and then! Good job! We are to think on that which is excellent and praise worthy...hmmm...Phillipians 4:8 would seem to limit our chioces! I have found that God can quite easily help me in my feelings and thoughts and desires for my husband if I take the time to ask Him!

Nicki said...

Oh i TOTALLY agree with this!! This world has such a crazy, crazy view on this!!

Anonymous said...

The horrible part of the whole thing is how the world is teaching our children these same views from such an early age. Children as young as middle school are reading the smutty romance books. I am surprised at the number of "Christian" women I see reading them and watching love movies. It is very sad.

Good post Sharon. I like when you are on your soap box. We had a guest speaker at church on Sunday and they said it is time the American church just coddling Christians!!! Let's start calling sin as it is....SIN!

Dee said...

Amen, amen, amen! D
PS thanks for your comment on my other blog -- for some reason, blogger won't post the comment though. OH well. Hope you enjoyed the posts.

Mary said...


A few years ago, I wrote an article on infidelity and stated that online sex would be the same as cheating in real life. I was amazed at how many people agreed with me. It was published at "At the Fence." Yes, if we think it in our minds, we are guilty. Whether it be murder or infidelity, we are what we think. Thanks so much for bringing this subject to light.

Hope you had a wonderful day.

Pastor Lisa said...

TRUTH! All of it! We cannot afford to get caught up in that smut...uh stuff. Great word Sharon. I pray lots of women get free from this word and marriages take a turn for the better.

Denise said...

Amen sis, thanks for getting on your soapbox.

Pastor Lisa said...

Sharon!!!! Check out this link... Organization giving away a house in Selma, AL. I dunno, maybe a door you can see that opens for you. Love you much!

Denise said...

It is a lie from the pits of hell that you can dabble in that stuff and not get burned!!!!!!! That is a great post and I love that the christians today are getting up on their soap boxes and speaking truth........ The truth will keep our hearts and minds free ...........


Anonymous said...

I can't believe even I missed it. Soap Opera/Soap Box

I crack myself up! BAR NONE! (Get it Bar, as in bar of soap. hahahah)

Sandi said...

Sadly this is a world with sin and eyes closed. I guess in a few years they will be reporting this is not working and leading to more disfuntional families.

Alisun@ABrookeInTheForest said...

You can stay on the soap box all day!! Amen Amen Amen to all, the world is just perverse.

Melanie said...

This is such an excellent post. I didn't know until maybe a couple of years ago that "even if it only takes place in your head....
YOU ARE GUILTY just like you had done it physically." I'll bet there are a lot of people who don't know that. Anyways- excellent post!

freetofly said...

So true, Sharon. And it is so important that we DO get on the soap box and shine the light on these areas. We have several younger generations coming up who will not know the truth if we don't do this. It all can't wait to be covered in Sunday morning service. It is so important to be able to talk about this and more besides in our day to day conversations...

May God bless you my friend!