Monday, January 21, 2008

The Year Of Romance--January

The Year Of Romance

Good morning--I hope all are staying warm. We have been enjoying some cold temperatures, but--it is nice and toasty inside. Why? Drumroll please......drumrolll....drumroll......Because we have chosen to use a little nifty tool called--- our heater.
And now let's hear the collective....... Duh!!!!!!!!!
I know I am being silly but I had to come up with some type of intro for this post.
I have decided to join with Free To Fly as she encourages us in blogdom to pull out those tools needed to keep the romance in our marriage nice and toasty.
If you are interested in joining us as we work at making our marriages a haven for romance please go on over to her site and check out the goals for these once a month posts.

Years ago I stopped reading romance novels because they were a set up for failure for my man.
Why do I say that? Because these books gave me a false illusion of what real love and romance were all about. It is not about some tall, dark, rich man whisking you away on his jet to some far away island for a meal prepared by his special chef-and then you spend a night in unwed passion. How do you think God felt about me filling my mind with that unwed part. Not to mention the fact that I was eavesdropping on someone elses romance.
It set my mind and emotions for a downfall even if I knew
that the romance in the book was fictional.
How do our husbands ever live up to that?
They can not live up to some fictional ghost that lingers in our minds after we read all those books. So God had me stop reading those books in order that He could teach me how to keep my heart fires burning for my husband while living in reality.

Keith has learned so much about romancing me in the past several years. You can ask those around me--he has turned into a keeper. :)
But...... that is after at least 12 years when there was little or none in the romance category.
Romance is what happens before the s*x. It is what causes my mind to linger on my husband favorably during the day. So when he walks in the door after work I am actually glad to see him and I want to spend time with him. Romance is the same for him.
He does a lot to bring out that desire in me.
Like last night--he came home just to bring me a load of firewood. He was not planning on coming home last night because he was staying at the farm to hunt. Around 7:00 there was a knock on the glass patio door, and when I moved the curtain--I found my man with a load of firewood. He knew I was out of wood and how much it thrills my heart to have a fire going on a cold night --so he drove 45 minutes just to bring me some. And then he turned around and went back to the farm last night.
Now that makes my heart feel just a tad sweet toward him. :)
He put me before himself--that is romance for me.
And so now my mind will start to think of things that will make him feel as special.
I think that is really what romance is all about. Making our spouse feel special. Making them feel like they are more important than anything else.
There are several things that are not X rated that I know I can do to make Keith feel special. A particular meal, what I wear to bed, or just even spending time sitting in the bathroom talking to him while he is taking a bath. You know what else speaks romance to him?
When I come to bed and I don't bring anyone else with me.
Shocked? Don't be.
My mind is constantly going. Mulling over this and that. There are many times when I come to bed and I am thinking about what needs to be done or some person and a problem.
Keith has even asked me at times who is in bed with us. :)
Simply clearing my mind and coming to bed--that can be romance.
He gets all my attention--and he loves that.
Bottom line--what types of seeds are you planting in your marriage?
You will get out what you put in.
It may take a while. But together with Free To Fly,
I am going to plant some good seeds this year.
Remember if you would like to join us in thinking about the romance in our marriage and what we can do to keep the home fires burning go on over to Free To Fly and join us.
It is only once a month--what have you got to loose?
It is time to turn the heat up!


freetofly said...

Ok, I am so tickled my eyes are misty! I am so grateful that several of us women are committing to take this on. And everyone is covering such good stuff, it's clear that no ONE of us could say all these things in 1 post and people could stick around to read that much...but, as I read yours, I realize God is orchestrating our steps, and we all have a part to play, and between us all, it is ALL getting covered!! Yours & Keith's story sounds very, very similar to Jerry's & mine, and it is something I hope/plan to get to tackle,

I love that he made that drive to get you firewood, that is a good, good man!

& Jerry likes for me to hang out in the bathroom when he gets his shower, too. We talk about stuff & it is a guaranteed bit of "our time" each day & of course flirt plenty!

Nicki said...

What a great idea!! I'll have to go over and check her out! Thanks for sharing this....I'm sure all of our men will be too!! HEEE!!! =)

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the thoughtful hubby. Great blessings to you as you start mission romance. It is safer to comment on the computer than start a conversation on the phone when you are at a rough spot (this is an incredibaly rediculous understatement). What a hoot that this is the subject. I am in need of the truth (God's truth) of how He honors obedience. I have told Him that I am volentarily tieing myself with linen to the alter and have asked for the Holy Spirit to have his way and help give me the strength. Temptation is from satan, not our Father and the meaing of resisting is to come against or to actively fight, not just stand there and withstand. I am fighting the big "D" temptation. This may sound harsh, but after decades of stuff I can't bare to get into, it seems this answer would be so clear and simple and better. But that is my flesh talking and not our God who says "If you love me, you will obey me". Does anyone have an encouraging witness of how God honored your obedience, whether it had something to do with your husband or not?


MelanieJoy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Halfmoon Girl said...

I totally agree Sharon. My hubby is not the romance novel type- though I do think he is very handsome. I love how caring your husband is- that is very romantic. I love it when my guy takes care of me like that too. Things have been a little strained around here lately at times, so I should join this venture. I am supposed to be cleaning right now, so I will check it out later.
Have a good day!

Andrea said...

wow -- you have some good ideas for heating things up! keep going!

ps: i tagged you for a quick little something at my place...

freetofly said...

Anonymous, My heart goes out to you, and yes, yes, yes, I can testify, that when I became a Christian (I was 29), had been married for 11 years...the first thing I did is look around at our marriange & family life & say Yuk! This has got to be fixed, then I proceded to go about what my flesh knew to do to repair it...(let me say, that just recently (in a diff issue)I had an epiphany that showed me that often times we are drawn to the instant fix, when God's way is generally little by little, a tends to accomplish much more this way & "stick"...well, long story short, that is what ultimately happened in our marriage...I like to say, God let us break it & He made it new! That was 13 yrs ago! We have been married for a little over 24, it gets better every year! But it has certainly been a process & & has has certainly required healthy confrontation & surrender, surrender, surrender, and true Godly forgiveness...

I know this sounds like a lot, but you asked if anyone could testify, and truly, truly I CAN - HE will make a way! Where it seems like there is no way! He is so GOOD!

Hope this helps a little!

love & prayers for you!
In Christ,

SunnySusan said...

Will go have to check out that site..
I took my hubby a while to figure out what romance is to me too.
But now.........he is a keeper.....
so subtle is he...knocks my socks off

Love the "who else is in bed"...that is mind is always going....he now knows that I am like that and waits until I tell him everything that i need to...LOL

Denise said...

What an awesome man you have, bringing you firewood was so sweet. Keep that heat going my friend, lol

Denise said...

I married a man 8 years younger. We have been married 8 years.. it was his first marriage.... He was 44 when we married and I was 52.. He is the husband of my dreams.. After 30 years of abuse and heartache he came in like a knight in shinning armor......He took me to Calif on a two week honeymoon and he remains the same......

The past 8 years for us have been very very hard because of his family and now mine.. but he is still the loving tender man and we try to find time to get away..... We lay in bed at night and talk about how our lives have changed for the good since God brought us together......... We always say thank you when one does for the other.... I always thank him for doing the dishes or making the bed....... I always compliment him on his appearance............ It is not what happens in bed that keeps the fire burning,,,,,, it is what happens while we are on our feet..............

....I have a little book mark that I found in a Christian Book store in 1978..... It is worn and torn and ragged but there is a saying on it that I prayed for more than 20 years while waiting on God............ the little book mark reads:

Love Is: When one cries, the other tastes salt............ Even today it makes me cry........ I gave it to him the day we married...........

AND he's pretty hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahhah

Here is to marriage as it should be............... God created sex........... Man corrupted it...............

Livin' With Me said...

Keith is so sweet- to drive all that way was such a thoughtful thing to do.

I like your ideas too that you use to romance Keith.