Pretty cut and dry most of the time. I do love deeply---it just does not come to the surface easily.
I could tend to get really down on myself or I can call out to God the giver of all good things and ask Him to touch another through me. That is really a good idea anyway because then they are being touched by something heavenly.
Today I got this devotional by Elisabeth Elliot and it so spoke to me. There are going to be those days when events or circumstances or people---try and set us up for failure. What kind of failure?
The failure of not loving your neighbor as yourself.
Here is the devotional--
Today will be full of turmoil, for we are moving. Decisions to be made, complicated sorting and packing to be done, hard physical work, confusion and misunderstanding. I will be tempted to "manage" things which are not mine to manage, to be impatient and anxious and vindictive--I can see it coming! But there is a quiet, steadying power--the love of Christ, and "this love of which I speak is slow to lose patience, looks for a way of being constructive" (l Cor 13:4 JBP). It is not in me. That brand of love is not a part of my nature. So I simply ask for it. Lord, your love alone, at work in me, behaves like that.
Love through me, Love of God.
Make me like thy clear air
Through which, unhindered, colors pass
As if it were not there.
--(Amy Carmichael, Toward Jerusalem)
Don't you just love the little poem by Amy Carmichael? Love through me Lord like I was not even there. That is what I am asking for today. Erase whatever I would have to give them and replace it with the beauty of YOUR love.