Thursday, March 22, 2007

Sleep On! I THINK NOT!

Today I got an email for the first time from an online spiritual information source called--beliefnet. I thought, how cool --until I opened the email. I was informed that I had a spiritual horoscope waiting for me. And that if I was interested I could contact an oracle on line. My first inclination was to ask them to stop sending me emails--but by clicking that link of course it took me to their site. How can I explain the anger that rose in my stomach as I saw Christianity placed right alongside all the religions of this world. Take your pick ----see which one will work for you. People are searching. And here i (we) sit comfortable in the fact that we've got our ticket. I know --people are hurting and they are being deceived. And I guess I wonder whether most of us would even think we have anything worthy to offer them. I mean does this Christianity thing really work?
Almost ten years ago, after being raised in a Christian family I walked away from the Lord because I figured I was so miserable that it all must be a lie. Now in my heart I knew the truth , but you know I could just not make it work. No peace or joy, My marriage was over as far as I was concerned. I had success in the working world but the rest just brought misery. My solution-- walk away from it all. And for seven years I did. I told God I did not want to have anything to do with Him and lived the way I wanted.
And then one day after I realized I was still miserable and lonely, I thought I would give God one last try. I asked Him to prove to me that what the Bible said, was truth. If I could know Him then I asked Him to reveal Himself to me. I was not prepared for the whirlwind that began. He turned my life and my heart upside down. In a good way. I began to realize that I was a lot like a certain woman in the Bible and I had been going about the whole Christian thing in the wrong way.
Does the name Martha ring a bell with anyone? That was me. I was all about being busy about doing the Christian thing. I knew so much about serving and quite a bit about the Bible. How could I help but have a lot of knowledge--my parents were in the ministry, I went to a Christian school and then went to a Christian liberal arts college. I was stuffed with Biblical knowledge. And I did love the Lord. As much as I knew I could. I had my ticket to heaven, was working for the Lord and when I got to heaven I was going to get to know Him. Wow--what a mess. I was totally missing out on the whole relationship thing.
And then one day Jesus started revealing His love to me. Oh, what a wonderful, painful day!
I was not used to the intimacy that He was asking of me. In my mind when I tried to imagine His face while i was talking to Him--I never could look Him in the eyes. I don't know if you can understand that. Now, I could picture God sitting on His throne and me as a little child running up the steps to Him and jumping in the lap of my Daddy God in Heaven. But Jesus was another thing. I could love Him so deeply but, I had a hard time receiving it. Really it was about opening myself up to Him. Would He really Love me just the way I was? What if I failed Him and hurt Him again? He was my groom --what if He was not happy with His bride? What if all the effects that this world had had on me had taken me to a place that had destroyed His love for me?
I am now almost ten years past those days. They have not been easy. But do you know that without a shadow of a doubt I Know- ---HE LOVES ME, HE REALLY LOVES ME! And most importantly I now receive that love with open arms.Sometimes the thought makes me blush. It is a little overwhelming. After all what if you found out that the most sought after being(man) in the entire universe loved you and was pursuing you! And that even in the morning when you have gotten on the scale and it says bad things about you and you look in the mirror and it says even worse things about you--He thinks you are beautiful just the way you are. He really does! He thanked God for giving you to Him as a gift. And He is standing in heaven waiting for the day the God says, Go get your bride.
Well, long winded as usual. We have been all around and back again. Is there something inside of you that a lonely person need sto know about? Then share it with a smile. Show concern for the aggravated cashier. You know what---just talk to her period. Let her know that you see her as a person. Tell her you like her hair, voice or that she is really fast at what she does and you are glad you got in her line. And ask God if he would open a door for you to talk to her. It may be nothing more than, "yeah, I know life is hard but remember God loves you". Plant the seed.
God is pursuing her to--she needs to know it.
And if you want to talk, feel free to contact me through my email address.


Deena said...

Oh, girl, I am wrapping you in a big warm hug! Thank you so much for baring your soul like so many women need to hear your words! I was a Martha to the Max until my dear, sweet husband began to teach me what God's unconditional love was all about. God used this man in so many, many ways in my life, and then He guided me to the greatest group of friends I could have ever asked for.
They loved me as I was, celebrated my unique qualities and taught me to be all that God made me to be, and to rejoice in the simple, yet oh, so complex fact that He loves me.
I could just squeeze the stuffins out of you, I'm so proud and puffed up to call myself your sis in Christ....
Wishin' we were neighbors, so we could do a Beth Moore study'd be SO Much fun to break open the word with!!

Sharon said...

Thank you for your sweet comments.There are so many times I wanted to talk about these things but all I had was my journals--and my pastor. That God for Godly pastors who are not afraid of a Christian woman who knows what she knows and wants to talk about it. I know some times I push his brain to the brink--but it is nice to have someone who is willing to go there.
You sound like someone I would also love to have around. Beth more she's my girl. Yesterday in group I had the girls and I fill out little questionaires on ourselves. The purpose was to have some info about yourself to give to your prayer partner. One of the questions was, Who is your heroine. They all laughed because they knew who I had put down without even seeing it. She is the mentor I prayed for for years.
It is neat that you had such a great group of women around you. My story is a little different--but God used that to bring us where we are today.
Now it is my goal to let my girls know they have a safe place to go to open their hearts up to Jesus.

SunnySusan said...

Great post, thanks for being so honest.

Dutchnic said...

Thank you for dropping by my blog and leaving a comment. And thanks also for your prayers!

Sharon said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I don't meet very many Sharons, but through blogging, I've now met two!

I'll be checking back with you!

Have a blessed day!